By Lizzy Acker | The Oregonian/OregonLive | Posted December 06, 2018 at 10:13 AM | Updated December 06, 2018 at 10:15 AM
Jacqueline Dormer/The Republican-Herald via AP
Hipster Santa is just whatever. He’s soooo 2016. Portland is too unique for such a vague and general Santa. Here are 21 Santa Clauses Portland could have, sitting at malls and taking orders from children, that would more accurately reflect our regional sensibilities.
Contributors: Amy Wang, Andrew Theen, Elliot Njus, Andre Meunier, Shane Dixon Kavanaugh, Karly Imus, Gordon Friedman and Lizzy Acker.
Passive Aggressive Santa
“Oh, it’s no trouble for me to sit here and listen to your 20-minute-long wish list. Just ignore the 48 kids behind you and take your time.”
Santa shows up early in the season but fades later in the night and leaves everyone crying and emotionally exhausted and wondering why they still come back to visit Santa every year when Santa only brings pain, except for that star reindeer, Rudolph (Dame).
Steven Nehl/The Oregonian
Jerome Kersey of the Portland Trail Blazers plays Santa Claus at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland in 1992.
“I freed all my reindeer. Instead, I’m going to just let my sleigh drift wherever the air currents take it. See ya when I see ya.”